Imagine spending nearly two decades behind the wheel, yet the thought of a motorway sends shivers down your spine. That's the reality for many, including Mary McCarthy, who, despite 20 years of driving experience, has only braved motorways a handful of times. Her story is a powerful reminder that driving anxiety is a far more common issue than we often realize.
Mary's experience isn't unique. She describes each motorway journey as a 'disaster', feeling frozen and unable to overtake, which then leads to honking horns and increased panic. This fear escalated over time, leading her to avoid motorways altogether. It's a cycle many anxious drivers understand all too well.
But here's where it gets controversial... Mary's fear isn't just about the road; it's about the speed and the perceived pressure. She likens it to playing Mario Kart, where the pace of other drivers triggers her anxiety. Even as a passenger, she struggles to relax, impacting her husband's driving experience as well.
To navigate her avoidance, Mary relies on others for longer journeys, which, as she admits, is a source of embarrassment. She confesses to the BBC's Woman's Hour that she's 'just scared' and has structured her life around this fear.
Driving instructor Diane Curtis Knight confirms that motorway fear is a common challenge. She suggests the root cause often lies in underlying stress or anxiety in other areas of life. The first step, according to Diane, is to reframe the problem. Instead of saying 'I can't drive on motorways,' she recommends using the word 'yet,' planting the seed of possibility in the subconscious.
Diane also recommends keeping a journal to identify barriers to certain journeys. She suggests rating anxiety levels before and after each drive, using a scale of 1 to 10. This helps to reveal that the anticipation is often worse than the actual experience. This method allows you to slowly push your boundaries and improve.
Tracey Field, a stress management practitioner, highlights another aspect: the impact of driving roles within couples. When one person consistently takes the lead, the other may become 'de-skilled' and less confident. Tracey emphasizes that the problem often stems from the 'fear of the unknown' and not knowing what to do automatically.
So, what's the solution? Tracey recommends motorway lessons and a gradual approach. Start with short journeys, less busy times, or small roundabouts. She also suggests emotional regulation techniques like breathing exercises to stay calm.
Mary's turning point came when her anxiety began to limit her children's opportunities. She realized that public transport wasn't always practical, leading to missed playdates. Her 14-year-old daughter's simple question, 'Why can't you just lock in and drive?' forced Mary to confront her fear.
Now, as she approaches 50, Mary plans to take motorway lessons, partly to set an example for her daughter. Her goal? 'I would love to be able to drive on a motorway without feeling I am about to die.'
What are your thoughts on this? Have you experienced similar driving anxieties? Share your experiences and tips in the comments below!
